Have you ever wanted a moment frozen in time? I mean, not when you are going through it... later on, when its over. I have realised college was full of those moments for me. In fact, I had several such moments over the last week... when you spend your years 18 through 22(nearly) in the same place, it kind of grows on you. And, when the last semester of college ends and you have to go back, and everyone is packing and clicking pictures and saying their final goodbyes, you cannot help but feel sentimental.

In a batch of 240 kids, it was always going to be hard to meet everyone before leaving. Not that I knew everyone, but I knew enough people to not be able to meet all of them. And then, there are the people you dearly wish you could have known better. And when some of them unexpectedly call you just as you are leaving, its an happy yet uneasy feeling at the same time. You always feel like that that when you lose something without even clearly realising what it was. I left for home on the 17th of May. That because my roommate was leaving on 17th. I did not want to leave before of after her. (She still managed to leave a coupla hours before me , damn!)
For the first time I did not want to board that train home. Because it would be the last time. The entire last week is a blurred haze in my memory. For the first time I did not want to go to the canteen for tea around midnight. Because i would never do it again. The last night in college was cool and breezy, usually a welcome respite from our standard blazing days. But I did not want to leave my room for a walk. Or to go to the clubhouse roof... or to the girls hostel roof.... it was so hard to come to terms with the fact that I would never do these simple little things I enjoyed again. I clicked about 200 pictures in the last week. I haven't even looked at any of them. They're still in my camera, packed in a bag. I have no desire to open it.

A good friend came to drop me till the train. I told him to get off and go ten minutes before the train left. I did not want to wave "bye". I did'nt want to see his face disappear into the proverbial milling crowd. It would have seemed like the last connection with college snapping in a brief moment.

Do I seem blue? Well, good observation then :p And does this post seem a little incoherent...then pardon me, I wrote it all at once without stopping :)

By the way, on the way back in the train... a waiter said "Hello madam (he knew me from previous travels on the same train), holidays again?" I smiled and said, "Oh yes. Holidays again."

And the next song that played was "Zindagi ke safar mein nikal jate hai jo...." It would have been too cheesy to mention here if it had'nt been true. Well at least it made me smile briefly, although with a uncomfortable feeling in my tummy.

As for the moments I want frozen in time :

My first Tejgarh trip with the whole batch
My second Tejgarh trip with friends
My Mt Abu trip with friends
My Goa trip with the girls :)
My first A grade
Evening of 27th August 2004 - I met my favourite person
Afternoon of October 22nd 2004 (other reasons)
Doing wordlists at 7 AM in the morning everyday in the summer of 2005 with Roommate and Ahana
Getting my IIM call
Converting my IIM call.
Every AIMCAT I gave.
Every moment spent walking early morning with my roommate.
Every moment spent walking in the evening with Roman.
Every moment spend fighting with Rajeev.
Every moment spent chatting in Ahana's room.
Every moment spend in BTP lab with Aditi and roommate.
Every moment spent playing badminton in the SAC
Every moment spent at the gulla drinking some smoky tea.

and plenty more...

Alas! I am not meant to have this wish....

*11* replies